Having a friend definitely means more than just having someone to snap selfies with. Like any relationship, friendships are constantly changing and developing. I’m all about self-improvement posts and one way to improve yourself is by improving the relationships you have with those who are close to you. There are a ton of ways to be a better friend and most of them are really simple. Why not give them a shot?
1. Make plans & make time.
No friendship should always be one person being the one to make plans. It’s a partnership! Avoid the “Let’s hang out!” message and get more specific. “You free this weekend?” or “Want to check out the new coffee place by my house?” are better than a vague suggestion to meet up. With that being said, make time to hang out with your friends. Often times if you keep playing the busy card, people could feel discouraged or like you don’t want to hang out with them and might stop asking. If you’re in a rut and want new things to do, try out some of these Best Friend Date Ideas.
2. Call or FaceTime sometimes.
Texting is good, but some stories are at their best when you can hear/see the storyteller. Pick up the phone sometimes, especially if you have a really long story or if something really big has happened. Even if nothing much is going on, a FaceTime or phone call is a nice surprise. If your friendship is long distance, why not randomly call to catch up now and then? It’s always nice to have a normal conversation to fill each other in on recent happenings.
3. Express gratitude.
Who doesn’t love receiving the occasional text with someone saying how glad they are to have you as a friend? If you’re ever feeling sappy or lucky to have your friend, just send a nice little text. It doesn’t have to be an essay, but a little reminder of how important they are to you could be perfect. Seriously, it doesn’t even need to be sappy. Something like, “Thanks for helping me study, seriously don’t know what I’d do without you!” is effective and simple.
4. Remember little things.
Aside from his/her birthday, try to remember when they’ve got a big exam coming up or are getting their wisdom teeth pulled and stuff like that. If it’s hard to keep up, set reminders in your phone! A “Good luck!” or “Feel better soon, let me know if you need ANYTHING!” text is a really easy way to remind a friend that you’re in the loop of what’s going on with them and you care. Also, pro tip, if you plan on getting someone a birthday gift, set a reminder for two weeks before their birthday so you remember to get a gift and end up getting it on top and not last minute.
5. Talk through arguments.
If you’re angry at your friend, talk about it. Attack the problem before it gets worse! Sitting on an issue and fuming about it silently isn’t benefiting either party involved. I don’t always do this with friends or significant others but I will say that when I do it saves every party involved a lot of time and grief.
6. Do random acts of kindness.
Whether it be bringing over their favorite Starbucks drink when you guys have a study date just because, offering to make them a cup of tea when you’re making one for yourself or helping them make flashcards when she’s swamped and stressed for a big exam, random acts of kindness are a nice way of reminding someone you’ve got their back.
7. Give honest advice and opinions.
A real friend is the friend who will help put you in your place or give you genuine advice. I don’t know about you, but I would always rather go shopping with the friend who’ll tell me when a dress looks horrible than go with the friend who’ll tell me everything looks awesome. There’s a fine line between this and becoming a toxic friend, so keep a nice balance and know when being brutally honest does more harm than good.
8. Spend time together aimlessly.
The best friends are friends that you can do nothing with and the friends that you can have comfortable silences with. Not every hang out needs to be a grand plan. Sometimes my best friend at college and I would just be in the same room on our respective laptops doing unrelated things but it was still nice to have company and be able to have a conversation now and then. Avoid putting pressure on every hangout for it to be super fun and eventful.
9. Be reliable.
No one likes flake. If you make plans, follow through. If you make a promise, keep it. This isn’t even particularly one of the ways to be a better friend it’s just a way to generally be a not-shitty person.
10. Don’t become super possessive.
Most of us are at least a little possessive of our friends, especially our close ones. Avoid becoming too clingy or overbearing by allowing the other person to be the one to make plans sometimes. Also pick up on social cues. If you’re getting one text for every three you send, take a step back. If you find that your friendship has become an unbalanced with you always initiating plans, take a step back. Being an overly possessive and clingy friend can often be a red flag and might lead to separation.
11. Be loyal and trustworthy.
Loyalty and trust is everything. In terms of ways to be a better friend, being loyal is one of the best ways. If someone’s talking about your friend behind her back, don’t get involved. Avoid spreading her secrets and stories without her permission. Blah blah, a lot of this is common sense but just remember that trust is easy to lose and almost impossible to earn back after you’ve lost it.
12. Keep things private sometimes.
If the only time you ever express affection or appreciation for your friends is on their birthdays is publicly via Instagram on their birthdays, something is UP. While birthdays are a great time to express how much you love your friend and how much their friendship means to you, why not write it in a birthday card or say it to them in person instead? Sometimes things done publicly with grandeur can seem ingenuous. Remember to keep some stories, ugly Snapchats and deep compliments underwraps–not every aspect of your friendship belongs on social media.
13. Try new things and go on adventures together.
It’s a great way to bond by going on adventures and trying new things and it’s always bound to lead to new memories. Whether I want to try to make fried cauliflower, go to an indie concert for a band we’ve never heard of, attend a Zumba class or do karaoke, I know I can count on my best friends do tackle new adventures with me and it’s definitely made our friendships stronger (and led to lots of fun stories).
What are some of your favorite ways to be a better friend?
